Last year, my family and I faced a challenging time as my father had to stay in the hospital for an extended period. The fear and the uncertainty it brought caused deep distress! Thankfully, he is now on the road to recovery. It got me thinking: why do I miss people?
Time is magical.
My awareness of life is shaped by the constraints of time; it begins with my birth and ends with my passing.
The fact is that the whole person is gone, and suddenly a realization kicks in that our lives are short. "Short life" is such an unfortunate reality. Is it this desire to spend the finite time with someone you love that creates this feeling of longing?
Grieving the loss of a loved one will feel different fifty years from now. As time passes, even the collective feelings of humanity will feel different hundreds of years from now.
I began to see that I could use time to build resilience; this too shall pass.
Focus on what I can control!
When I say I miss someone, do I mean the whole person? A person is composed of their interactions with us, their work, their daily routines, and more. Will I miss the mundane tasks they did for themselves? Is it my own selfish desire to be with them, my feeling of security in their presence, or their kindness to me – what is it that I miss about them?
It was heartbreaking, and it was difficult to grasp the intensity of missing someone and the sorrow it can bring. As soon as we part, I start to miss my loved ones. Some things are beyond my control, so it's important to focus on what I can do.
Imagine that I'm seeing a beautiful chair🪑. I enjoy the sight of it, just like we enjoy a beautiful sky. But soon, I start feeling the urge to own this beautiful chair! This thought may arise because I feel separated from the beautiful chair. The moment separation or division between the observed and the observer arises, a conflict gets created. But if I see the world as a whole, such that I and the beautiful chair are part of us, there isn't any urge to own them! Then I can cherish the moment and “truly observe” the chair!
To sum it up, focus on the wonderful time I've…
I started to appreciate the moments I spend together with my loved ones. If I stay in the present and give my undivided attention to my loved ones when we are together, it brings me greater joy and I can cherish the moments as if they are with me forever! This is something that I have full control over.
When you're with your loved ones, give them your undivided attention.
Every single time you see your loved one, see them as if you're seeing him or her for the first time!
Every single time you listen to your loved one, listen to them as if you're listening to him or her for the first time!
Every single time you hold the hand of your loved one, hold as if you’re holding it for the first time!